How far do you go, either way?

I have been mulling over the question I posed a couple of days ago about what, exactly, a woman should do for herself.  If you missed it, you can read that post here.  I know when you blog about something you are supposed to be the one with the "advice", but I am reaching out here.  I am really confused about this subject... am I the only one?  I am hoping someone out there has a logical, practical solution to this. 

Normally I would read something about "me" time, or spending money on yourself, or something similar and just dismiss it as insane and impractical.  I mean, honestly, how do you buy yourself anything, even a facial moisturizer, when you child could have a new outfit with that, or might need new shoes next month, or that $10 or whatever could go in savings for a family vacation, or even an emergency fund.    How do you take a bubble bath when there is laundry that needs to be done, dishes in the sink, and food on the floor, and you JUST got both kids down for the night. How do I, in good conscience, sit here and type this post while all of that needs to be done?  Even if it is late, how do you go to sleep then knowing all of that needs to be done.  Now, granted, I work outside of the home, and that is a different issue all together, not for this post.  Right, wrong, or indifferent, that is the situation I am in and I can't believe I am the only one.  Just because I work doesn't mean I have extra money.  I work to pay the bills, and I know many of you do to.  My children are little and demand a lot of attention, especially after a day at daycare.  I know too many women who have way more, and much younger children than I do and do much better at housekeeping that I do to believe I am the only one who thinks "me" time is just plain crazy.  You really can't do it all, and if something has to go, what mother isn't going to throw things for herself out the window first. 

And don't even get me started on more sleep.  The same books that tell you to take better care of yourself, get plenty of sleep, blah, blah, blah... tell you to get up early or stay up late for quiet time ( not knocking it, I totally agree), they point out verses about the Proverbs 31 Woman that say she got up early and stayed up late, and they reinforce that your home should be put together AND you should look good for your husband:)   Ever try looking good on little sleep?  Doesn't last long...

Here is the part about the post that I linked too (here), that got to me.  The part where she says that how we treat ourselves is how our daughters will treat themselves, and how our sons will think women should treat themselves.  Ouch!  I want my daughter to take care of herself.  I want my son to let his wife take care of herself.  Hmmm... you see my dilemma and confusion?   I know the part about daughters and mothers is true.  My mother sacrificed and rarely spent a penny on anything that wasn't necessary for herself.  Fast forward to now, and she is constantly telling me I HAVE to let go of some money and buy some good moisturizer for my face (which she does now but didn't when she had children at home.)  She tells me I will be sorry if I don't... my argument?  But mom, you didn't do it when you had small kids at home.  You see, I know what that means.  (Oh, and can you tell I have facial moisturizer issues? lol!) 

So, what I am hoping for here is that someone out there in bloggy land will come across this and will have some practical advice for HOW to do this.  In light of the post linked above dealing with looks and buying clothes, make-up, etc., as well as time and sleep.  How are you supposed to both get the things done that must get done and make time for yourself?  Honestly, how? 

I do NOT want anyone to think I am saying these things shouldn't be done, they all should, I am just looking for someone that might have some advice on how.... and hoping and praying I'm not the ONLY one that doesn't get it!

1 comment:

  1. I too work outside of the home. I have four children ages 19, 16, 10 and 7. I am actively involved in several areas of my church. I have NO time to complete what I know must be done around the house, let alone spending time for myself. But I do know from experience how important it is for us moms to take that time. It's like when we try to minister to others when we haven't spent time in God's presence and we are empty. We must come to Him and allow Him to fill us up again so that we can pour out.

    I believe the same is true for moms. How can we minister to our children, or tend to the needs of our home, when we are emotionally and physically spent? I do not think it is wrong for a mom to spend time or even a little money on herself. Her children will be better for it, because she will be better for it. We moms have needs and we cannot continue to neglect those needs.

    I seldom spent $$ on myself (more than the price of a cup of coffee or a $20 pedicure) if my kids have monetary needs. But I hope you understand where I am coming from.

    I have been known to allow dishes to pile up in the sink, and laundry to go undone, just so that I could curl up and watch a movie after the kids are in bed, or do something I want to do.

    I hope this helped bring some perspective (mine anyways).