Why do you do the things you do? Why do you strive to keep a peaceful, clean home with towels in the linen closet and clean clothes folded and put away? Why do you light candles, bake goodies, and try to have a yummy, nutritious meal on the table? I'll tell you, I do these things to serve and honor God. I learned a long time ago that one way to do this is by serving and honoring others. I do it because it is part of my God given role in the home. I do it because I strive to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman, who did these things and more.
I have taken to heart Proverbs 31:11 which says "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” This is SO NOT the case at my house. My husband cannot possibly have full confidence in me as I am an absolute airhead that is clumsy to boot. He also lacks LOTS of value when it comes to having me as a wife, lol! However, this verse encourages me to keep trying. I make lists on top of lists and become more mindful of what I need to do when time allows, etc. I WANT to be this wife.
Here is where I messed up. How do you measure this? Well, I began measuring by my husband's actions and reactions. If he was displeased, I was convinced I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing. If he assumed I would forget something, I began to quietly tell myself that why shouldn't he? I have never done anything right before... ever been there? Am I the only one? When my husband is happy with me, all is good, when he isn't, I sink to the depths. Even to the point that even when he didn't mean it personally, I took it personally. How else am I supposed to take it? Here is the point I had gotten to...
“I have done my best but I just cannot do everything that needs to be in the house today. I'll put the dishes in the dishwasher so there isn't food left out to attract bugs. The baby needs some extra attention, and supper HAS to be cooked. I have honestly done my absolute best, so now it is time for bed, and I want to spend some time with my husband (an important part of being a good wife that cannot be ignored!). I will get the towels out of the dryer and put them on the couch to be folded tomorrow night, and start another load before bed.”
Fast forward to the next morning, and say that morning my husband gets frustrated that there are no towels in the cabinet, and he has to go get them off the couch. I am devastated. He is unhappy; I have not been the helpmate I was meant to be. I have failed God. Seriously, that was my logic. I might just cry or be silently upset, or I might start screaming about doing my best… which invokes first confusion, then anger on my poor husband’s part. I based my success in what God has for me to do on my husband's, a human, reaction. Therein lies the fallacy. We CANNOT base our Christian walk on human nature. My husband is a great, Godly man and I love him dearly, but he is human. Generally he is very understanding, helpful, and supportive, but he is human.
God showed me that in these situations, when they arise, I should asses whether I really and truly did the best I could, and if so, then I am good with God. He knows all I did, He knows what kept me from doing what wasn’t done, and He knows where my heart was during it all. If, however, I asses, bring the situation before God, and realize I did not do all I could do, like maybe I spent too much time online, or went to bed a little earlier than I needed to, then I should apologize to anyone who was put out because of it and do better next time. Move on... after all, mom's and wives are only human also....and we cannot do it all